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It's too early for good ideas Mar. 18th, 2010 @ 08:28 pm
My traveling itch is kicking in.. I'm watching to motorcycle diaries again and wishing for the open air.. a bus.. or car.. anywhere.. I've decided I have a plan, finally, a purpose to travel lol. But anyways here's my idea. The film I've been recording and working on is about life, mine here and there over the past year or so, and I think the best way to depict it is to travel some more, there are alot of scenes in it that I have figured out need to happen, and I'm going to write the script, soon, but after I get that finished, I have a journey to go on.. It wont be finished you see, there's a plot twist, the movie is going to be called sound-track.

It will be a movie about the search for the music of itself, my journies along the way and in the making.. perhaps a scene or two from when I call nick up to randomly fly from minnesota on some hair-brained scheme to get world recognition.. something like that :P

But in the end, the movie will be about showing it to people and getting the worlds opinion on a life.. or two.. or more within..

I think I may end up losing the copy I carry in some freak accident.. or mugged or robbed, but who knows.. it may be worth it to do it all again, who gets that chance right?

Discovery Mar. 17th, 2010 @ 08:03 pm
I followed a girl
to a kitchen
where she sat
neatly by the sink
her pink pokadotted skirt was ruffled
and her hands were all covered in ink..
she pointed to a man
he was laughing in the sun
and held out her hand
telling me to follow her again
and walking slowly
to the edge of her garden
she leaned down
and named a flower after me
and he spoke!
stretching his arms so strongly!
he awoke!
and looked right up at me.
he said
son, how long have I been sleeping?
to which she replied
only a short time
he looked her dead in the eyes
his thorns stood up at his sides
he opened his mouth!
held his hands out...
and he died..
he died..
as the light.

Story teller Mar. 13th, 2010 @ 05:44 pm
I found this old note book
with a mark made of string
neatly wrapped up in laces..
amongst all your old things
I don't think I've seen it
no not before
and it's taken close to two years...
for me to open up this drawer
It was empty and white
like a forgotten bride..
Except that last page
that said
"write me again someday"
seems you were hoping for a change!
I see!
let's say there was!
And I'm not the same
would you fall back in love?
would you call out my name?
could it be as it was?
why can't I get over
this feeling of missing!..
us....
we used to laugh in the rain..
dancing next to the laundromat..
getting our feet wet again..
hiding out in the basement!
talking gossip of friends
and how we were the only normal ones..
because we couldn't understand them!
do you remember how that felt..
to do nothing, just lay there..
and be in love with someone else..

once again Feb. 3rd, 2010 @ 05:07 pm
I wanna find myself a plastic Japanese girl..
with long dark hair in her fingers rolled up into curls
that look on her face
ecstatic
that shirt on her chest
elastic
and the mutual feeling we get when our eyes cross
is pretty much fantastic, boss!
so
I believe it's time to re-discover the world.
take a long bus ride in a direction I have never heard
hope to wake up in the south
with those tall lanterns and cotton fields everywhere around
in town again
his name is Ivan!
and he's got bad credit just forget that shit
it's just the start of the winter
when he dead leaves hit the ground..
I'd rather be painting again..
that bright
pink
tounge..
and dreaming of that weekend yet to come..
in
about, a month
as I plan the way I would hold you...
and get our entire day figured out..
before, I get out of bed..
I'm ready to see this girl to the end..
I gave her my world..
So why did I deserve...
to be..
....
Oh man who cares anyway
I wanna find myself a pink haired blonde!
One preferably married but hopefully not, yet, a mom,
It all adds to the spice!
A little hint at what I call life!
And if you wanted advice I can't tell you this twice
so keep it a secret or at least away from stange eyes
but hey its so much better. . .
without the lights.

Discoveries in pillows Feb. 1st, 2010 @ 09:49 am
I'm trying hard now not to call you
this dream was better written down
that's why this notebook was so handy
to send this letter out of town!
I dreamt we sat upon an eagle
don't laugh yet it gets quite odd
and as we flew over the sea side
we saw an old man with a dog
who began to speak then slowly
his shaggy fur covered his eyes
he told us of our future journey
and the color of the sunset
on the day of our eventual demise
we laughed then
in unison
and simply changed our minds
for if it was so simple
perhaps we would not die!
as we took off and landed
an island or two away
we knew that we were stranded
as the eagle was tired, and layed on his side
there was no sign of life there
and only an ocean breeze for sound
the grass it grew so thick here
look around!
what a wonderful place to spend the night!
as we built a little hut made out of brnaches
and a fire that would keep us warm with light
and so we had ourselves a friend now
as the eagle woke up slowly
sitting neatly to your right
a greater wind picked up then
as his father called to him from above
a giant creature made of steel and bone
fake hips
thick lips
and wings colored in pantone...
he landed next to me..
and said we should go home..
Other entries
» Spektor
I wait till you come by
to sing you a few songs
they kind of make me smile
like you have all along
and if it's not a waste of time
I'll walk you through my town
to show you all my secrets
and bring this mantel down
you say you don't like mysteries
well sorry honey
that's just me
you see everything I learn I keep
locked up in this head so tightly
for every moment is a blessing
that I watch you dance
alone in the rain
of parking lots
where we got lost
to go
slow walking ufo's
all blue just like my shirt..
and that look that you gave
hurt's so much the same
in a good way
» Flues
Saw a mother walking down the street with her two kids
she used to be pretty
still is
but now she is a parent
and its obvious
apparent
that everyone keeps staring
at that out of character dress
that she is now humbly wearing
to hide her past
and exactly how you make kids..
like that
with no dad
but a boyfriend who is better than that
since you can look at her face and see all those famliar places
she has been to...
and of all her conquests
on sandy beaches sunsets
standing with a white blouse and wondering how far!
the tide went...
we weren't too cool to relax then
a full bottle of wine and an empty pair of glasses
if it took a hundred years..
we would stay here getting plastered..
laying on our sides... with our eyes closed.. and laughing..
for no reason,
like that stroll on a sunny day..
» draft saved 002
There is a girl I miss
At times shes an angel
and mostly a bitch
but I still wish that I could resist
the way that she talks
and we catch up
in twenty five minutes
the way that we are
and though it's been a good year
or two since I've seen you
I'm exactly where I was..
and so you are as it seems
we're stuck where we started
as if its not meant to be
and I try to type up
all of these bouncing thoughts
since I can't seem to focus on one
she had
long dark brunette hair
oriental eyes
that could burn with their stare
make you belive any lie
give you life
wish you died
but atleast she could force you to try
and us
we were happier then
I miss every moment
her voice
and her hands
the way that they fit
in the palm of my own
like a lion to lamb
i transformed and i...
was left alone..
all those nights that I stayed up to wait
all those evening of worry
those night filled with hate
it will all go away
when I would see her face..
I was young
and in love..
I was heartbroken bad and betrayed..
» outskirts
I like to dream
of things to be
like planning my sunsets
organizing my memories
of picnics
and naps
that we haven't had
sitting on our hilltop
with full backpacks
and that smile on our
mutual hearts
I like to think of summer
before it starts
forget the rain
say goodbye to the clouds
is the sky blue for you
or is it just something we laugh about
and hope then
for evening
a warm fire side
i like to think of that look in your eyes
the light changes for you
orange green and yellow
sitting on strings of our swing feelin' mellow
to lean back
and look up
seeing nothing but stars
I like to think of us the way we are..
» Passing
There's just a half a bag of chips left
puddles in our tent
still raining outside
our clothes are soaking wet
I'm trying to decide where this week is meant to end..
as early morning creeps on over
there is little to be said...
and so we slowly wake ourselves
crawling back on through the trees
following this beaten path
back to the road
reality
I hope for some recurring thought
to get stuck in my head
seems like the last time that i tried it
all that i could do
was forget
I don't understand you see..
what you want to mean
and I'd rather be confused than broken in between
the two of us
emotionless
to-tally stressed
but here we are relaxing
with our arms and legs stretched out
like we were 12 again
just laying in the clouds
with mindfuls of imagination
finding giant robots in the ground
id like to see a simple me
a younger state of mind..
but for all i try to grasp it..
the only thing i do...
is waste time..
» Fall of a circle
Into a wave
a rainbow edge of water glimmers across the lake
shapes
and sounds
of grass as it grows around us
slowly
makes me pull my ear closer to the ground
we listen up and hold our own here
tuning in the station on the way out of town
one by one the miles take us farther away
for this weekend we've been planning since..
last night
last chance
that hold
those hands
the eccentric rhythem of the way you smiled
makes me thinks you are too kind
and though i am a fool for words
I still enjoy a pleasant lullaby
won't you please guide me in
this bed is fit for dreams
of a world we haven't seen
except in our sleep...
» hurts like summer
I hear the wind
It calls my name..
Blown from the east
It takes me westward once again..
hoping for a change on eager feet
I walk to the corner
on this downtown street
with half a pack of smokes..
two bucks
just my shoes and my clothes for luck
who knows maybe I'll find a place to sit down
a dark alley way in this forgotten town
next to my favorite bar i can't get in
not unless its Sunday that is
seems everything i do's a system..
maybe that's why no one listens..
but here was the moment we held hands
and walked to the door of my fathers van
happy to be free of to do as we please
with one short ride to a new life to lead
everything i do was meant to make you smile..
though not all my methods would be pure or wise
I made my mistakes
and I got caught
for stupid things I could have avoided with thought
but hey who am i on this afternoon
sitting
writing of my life to you
I don't understand much to many a man
and thats exactly the story I have planned
carefully crafted as I am
seems a good time to be taken as
someone in passing...
even though I feel fine I don't see me lasting...
no not in this..
I just don't see..
meaning..
in relationships...
» inside another oak tree
It's all about the roots
when we do as we do
i take up myself in on these legs
and i walk
walk home to you
the idea of time that it takes
to come up with this rhyme
i feel sly
dont be surprised when I change your mind
with a simple word
or two
of mine
as we dance upon this hilltop
glowing in our web
stuck on strings
like puppets
sing
with light on our fingertips
to be on our grave
already made
we know where it ends but how long before we feel the earth shake
our selves
awake
try to stay these dreams
it's not over
today
the sunrise dosen't change
a thing
» stop caring how i write
Have you ever stopped to think about
how you hate the way the start of this song sounds
and how all the words that i wrote to sing
remind you of pretty much everything
and the paper you print it with is far too thin
to lay all these heavy emotions in
any solutions you could put down
would simply be replied with by a frown =[
and to all those kids that read this page
came into the poem just a minute too late
perhaps there was something i'd SCREAM about
but thats not something
i'd let you figure out
with all of your friends on their myspace
and all of their sketches in your FACE
booking their thoughts
they're heartless and caught up
can't really do better but that's just how they were brought up
is it that bad...?
to compare our dads
and just sit back
relax
and laugh
at all of your problems
and mine
I don't care
responsibilities first then I'll play with your hair
its the pair of your tits that I stare at in class
when I don't pay attention but somehow I pass
and theres not too much
on my mind
when I come up behind you
make that jab
in the ribs
just to see what you'd do
its true i'm an asshole
and I like brunettes
but those redheads, man, they bleed confidence
i confess i'm a boy
a toy sometimes on a whim
and its not all the time that i care who im with
but atleast I've got passion
a talent
in sin
and those last four lines mean nothing to him
who? that's your man thats your love thats your trust thats your life
but who gives a shit when I'm dating your wife
theres something she can't give
to you atleast
that's why you need a girlfriend
some jailbait to tease
but please disregard if that thought makes you bitter
am i not too far off if i guess babysitter?
or someone you know
a friend you keep close
im wasting my time and this shits getting gross
so move on to conclusions and how you rebel
when you sit with your guitar and try to find lyrics to sell
as your own
and you come across my public poem
drop a G on that line
im sure it would work well with the rhyme
and dont forget to add a cue to a pair, of unsuspecting ankles like handcuffs on bare..
skin
its alright..
this part might keep you up at night
but I'd like to point out some simple things
that is of course if you're still reading
I come from a house
not a town but a castle
noble by birth, grandfathers somebodies master
If i so choose I can fall in love with you
much like the same vice versa is true
simple romantics were my first lesson in life
then i would walk
and learn how to fight
stand on my own against this small known world
with all of its secrets I've already learned
you see im not shy
sorry if i lied
its just a get-up
an easy disguise
I don't speak much
for attention
your touch
its mysterious, yes? why you like me so much
and so its a move that I make
don't hesitate
much like that time I took you by the waist
do you remember?
it works everytime
and I'm pretty sure that you're reading THIS line <--- that one
just like all of the lessons that you've just read...
will probably make you the person that knows me best..
just like them.
(love u :D)Read it twice its so much better
» Finding nemo
It's been two years...
since that break of dawn
where i ran outside...
barely time to get my back pack on...
catching that bus,
that long ride out
to summer school
(to summer school)
that where we met thats where we lost
all sense of time..
our short august nights
with curfews, sure
but we were good at making our own minds
and so that long hot day away from my aunts house
a backpack full of a roses
with only an old bike to get me out
and hours on the road didn't seem, too far
you were my beloved
and everything and man does would be for his wife
i hadn't asked you yet
but someday i would get it right
and wake you up to that perfect afternoon...
treating you to a silly dinner
a movie theater empty.. save for two
you said it back
and when we found that twenty bucks!
we could play more games that you loved.. today
but that was then..
we've learned more now
to what you really fell for
and exactly how hard
it was to change
addicted to hate..
its still hurts the same...
and its hard not to call you late..
but theres still so much left here
in our little world to love
although i know all your friends
were still a few states apart
just like my heart,
slowly comes home
i left it there
and im sorry if i should have known
but so many conclusions brought us to certain death
and so many decisons made us happy in the end
but why all the illusions wouldnt you rather be laughing... here.. instead
there you are
at a rivers edge
making a fire for a boy that dosen't really give a shit
we did that once remember it was more than sex
we made our mark.. on the corner stone of anarchy and legends
in that little town
they knew our names
just a little strange... but hey who cares if we're not the same
it took four months.. and so much pain...
before I made a promise that I'd never make again..
and said goodbye that one last kiss
at the bus stop was the last time our love would ever...
exist..
» Drawing with markers and penciled in rhymes..
Feels like its too much summer sometimes...
but I..
but I hope winter doesn't come home for a while,
A memory of yester-July
Like that hazel tint to your two shining eyes
I drew you there
Naked and barefoot
on my carpet laying with my...
favorite book... you read.. to me those fairy tales..
And washed away
the madness of... all the hours in a day
I dreamed..
With you there in my arms..
and woke up to miles of open hearts
that told me
we should never be together..
we were just to different..
but god damn I didn't give two cent's
Paid my dues, indifferent.. to all those things they screamed...
and said...
you sat there... on my carpet...
saying 'yes'... I trusted everything I could...
and hoped only the best livelihood... for you..
as you left me tangled in the branches...
rambled
broken
faceless
I'd rather wear my mask today....
But that was then...
And here she is..
When I asked for a simple ten minutes..
with every look... a contoured line...
and trace of a face begins to... show up right before my eyes..
'so you do exist..'
there is a lovely girl, I know, that dosen't live too far from here..
And we... are broke..
but still we keep smiling ear to ear...
» that dream that used to be... taken from me...
I just can't seem to get you out of my head..
no matter whom I may sleep with..
All theses memories..
and too fucked up dreams
make me wish for the way it could be..
I am sorry if I was a bore..
I am sorry if there was just too much to be asking for
when I tried so hard
to make our lives come together..
I really believed that we could do so much better...
than them,
than heroin..
than crying for our freedom!
Just tell me.. girl... (I miss none more in the world)
Is this any resemblance to your feelings?
Or is this all..
A waste.. (I do miss that smile on your face)
» karma
From notes, to letters
a telephone
not too much better
I try to find my way away from the center
of myself...
There's too much here to easily comprehend
and if I
would try to summarize
all the wonderful things in my life..
then maybe..
I could write song..
I just hope it wouldn't be too over drawn
Secluded as you see it fit
im stuck in this mindset
and pretty sick of it
I wish I had solutions to my
my emotional illness
And this is it
my last commitment
A second chance to call it all quits
stepping from the porch I stride aloft but still look forth...
to being used..
to have some value..
to be needed in a place somewhere near an ocean overlooked by avenues
a choice is what im needing
a final resting place
you see this type of writing hurts the worst
but these thought won't get out of my face
everyday i wake up missing her...
and every night I wonder if it's really worth to give in and be hurt..
I just wish that I could shake this
and get myself back
like these pages
so bold
so young
so charmingly faithful
It's all these girls seemed to care for
why... why take a lie and give it in return..
there's was no final answer no way that I could be stuck in matters
old...
a problem like this..
will usually be fixed..
on its own..
oh darling how I've grown!
a year away I hope'd for a clear direction on my path back home
and so these travels brought me nowhere..
and so these projects taught me all the same..
but lo' the dark horizon didn't change... too much..
and what could I provide but heartfelt shame..
I wish there was a sunset I could watch for three days..
but for now..
I settle for the loveliness.. that isn't near this place...
» A third rewritten spring
Spring

I feel like rain
the soft drop
and rolling clamour
of hail
im thunder, in the distance
mist clouded lightning
its so quiet here...
you can just
drop.
the ambience
silently fall.
to watch
as the water hugs the stones
at your toes.. most of all
loving your cold, innocent nose
it only asking for your tears
all these years..a little push
helping with a rhyme
just one time and like you know you could..
so it can
maybe
someday..
see you again
like it should...
» Perfect weekend
Two hands
on mine, there seems more time
than I
would safe-ly surmise;
with the closing of our eyes we drift away
to a new and orig-in-al place
a piece of sky
a pie for us to eat!
to smile as we see naught
but
tiny feet
the trees would fall into a path
next to petals from the blossoms
neatly laying on the grass...
our minds
have we lost them?
Or is this just a dream we like to have?

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